Random Thoughts for month of Sept!

It's hard to believe Sept is drawing to an end. So much has happened since my last entry....so let's see how much I rememeber..

Ryan:
The little guy finally started kindergarten at Veritas. He loves the uniform and so into wearing a belt. I don't think neither Charles or I was too sentimental about him going to real school....we were more concerned about getting there on time! Which we finally was late for a minute today. He is also very into the traffic light behavial rating that he gets daily. He loves getting green light :). So, I try using this at home for his morning routine and so far it's not all that successful; he still has a hard time to get ready in the morning.

The school is small and I was shocked to see my ex BSF leader on the first day. She actually brought all her 3 sons to the school after keeping them at home for a few years. Later on, we chatted up and found out they are also in the construction business. What a small world. But we are not making any meaningful connection on that yet......other parents are okay...the chinese ones seem a lot odd? I find myself not being very social in the parent circle...perhaps because in the back of my mind, we will not be there for the long haul.

Ryan also started Chinese school on Fri nights. Again, it is hard to find myself mingle with the Taiwanese (mostly) parents. We have been trying to take advantage of the night off to hang out. So far, just once!

Our Sat is the regular Awana night and Sunday evening is choir....plus the Sat soccer and volleyball, we really don't have too much time left. So, time really has flown by.

House:
It's not progressing as well as we'd like with the current architect. Maybe he is indeed as bad as my brother commented about him. So, we have been looking around and actually found some interesting lead. Really need to pray for wisdom on how to proceed from here. Sometimes this whole ordeal as I view it really gets to me and I vented on him. I am just not ready to make decision on thousands or dollars; and the thought of going through this for at least a year from now seems so grueling.....so it's so conflicting for me....I want to be supportive and yet I am stressed by it. I know I cannot walk away from it either....so, I feel like I am stuck in this project. Sigh.

Church
Doing Sat night these days really makes me feel it physically. Having to continue with Sunday morning for at least another month....I don't know...I just don't want to be I-can-do-it-all....someone even gave me material to start something with the kids on Sunday and my first thought was hello?! do I look like I have nothing else to do? but i got two girls interested anyways...I don't know how I can follow up with them. People seem to care and yet no too many actually do something about it. I wonder how long I will last before I become bitter which is a state I never want to be in. I am trying to avoid getting there as much as I can.

Work
It's work. I was shocked they actually cancelled the Nov shutdown citing things are slowly improving. But I have a feeling that once the reinstate the salary and eliminate the shutdown, they will have a substantial layoff first before that happens. So, we will see. I am not worried or I should say I cannot worry too much since it is absolutely out of my control. People ask me about what happen after the baby comes, I honestly have no idea. I think the only certainty is that I don't want to work full time. Beyond that, I have no clue. I just trust that He will guide the way when the time comes.

Friends on my heart....
- Visited Evie finally a couple weeks ago. She looked great considering what she had gone through. Pastor was upbeat even though he had to quit his job to help out. I admire her steadfastness...I can sense her surendering to His will and sovereignty. Not so much 'why me'; but somehow just found the strength to live and (homeschool!). I just pray for her suffering to be lessened and this illness be rid from her body soon.

- Alex and My's situation also weighs in my heart. She has opened up to me about her struggles and I feel just as helpless not knowing how to lessen their pain. I so wish they can see God in all of this....and so one day they will know without a doubt that He has carried them through and He was molding both of them in the process. So, besides praying and being there for them, we will probably feed them!

- Irona's coworker gave birth to a 3 month pre-mature baby and prior to that her husband just had a surgery for his cancer....not even mentioning it took them years to conceive.....I honestly don't know why they are being tried so heavily but the only thing I can hang on to is that He won't give us more than we can handle. I know the baby has been striving and doing well; I can sense that God is making them incredible witness for Him. I hope to visit the baby one day.

Moments with Ryan...

Today out of the blue we talked about life and death while we were driving....something about when mom and dad grow older and ryan said "I don't want you to die cause I won't see you again." I had to remind him of course mommy wants to be with you as long as she can but we will see each other in heaven. It was so poignant that it makes me realize how much I need to treasure my moments with him. Life is unpredictable...