The Grind of Life

It's Monday morning and the busy life of managing a family starts to weigh on me- or having 2nd child really adds more burden in every aspect of our lives. Our marriage has been a bit shaky and it is being challenged even more; my temper gets short with Ryan and I realized I have become more physical with him when it comes to discipline. I have even slapped him a few times in the heat of anger. I saw the effect of it that I finally had to apologize to him and realize that I really needed help to hold it in. The verse about not exacerbate our children really hit me cause I saw the raw rage that came out of him. I even asked him what made me more mad and he confirmed to me that hitting his behind is a world of difference than slapping his face. I must end it yesterday.

Little Katelyn growing slowly but surely. Now the 3rd-child wave has already hit the chinese side and I find my heart starting to wander. I have to keep reminding myself not only to be content but to trust that God knows best what everyone of us need and can handle. I need to keep my eyes focus upward and not around me. To conceive and bear a child could be the easiest part but I realize to raise up a god-fearing child is a whole different thing. How am I doing with just one? two? I need to remind myself to be constantly be content with what God has already blessed me. Even though I probably would not go full length to prevent another child but I definitely will not let myself be entangled or burdened by it. My focus ought to be upward, my marriage, and the little sinners.

A conversation with a couple older parents this weekend also help remind me the life skills that I need to start training Ryan on even at his age. (Yes, feeding an infant is comparatively the easier task.) So, I started him on making his bed, changing toilet paper, and folding his clothes. Next we need to work on alarm clock and changing his clothes on his own. They also help affirmed that character building is far more important than anything else. One of them mentioned that she constantly told her kids that she is responsible for the health of their body, heart, and soul through college. It really hit me especially the heart part since I have felt alot of guilt about the slapping episode. An another article posted of fb was also timely in reminding me the heartache that we feel as young mothers shall pass so fast that we should cherish even the most annoying, frustrating things that these little ones do.

So, with that perspective, hope this Monday will pass with joy and peace!