Sunday, August 29, 2010
Gentleness
It is so true that one learns the most when they teach esp. when it comes to spiritual matters. This morning, I talked about the fruit of gentleness. The more I told the kids what it meant, the more I was convicted. The best definition I came across so far is gentleness is 'power under perfect control'. My biggest challenge is definitely when it comes to dealing with Ryan. His lazy eating habits (guess whose fault is that), his easily being distracted, etc etc. One truth that it came to me as I was teaching was that the other person is blinded to the truth when it is not told in a gentle way. How many times Ryan acted worse than before when I became loud about the truth I was trying to tell him. All I have to do is to change/lower my tone of voice and he would listen. argh! I need to pray more that I can keep that power under control. It is so hard not to lose it; but that's why I need to pray!
More Kids?
As I looked at the baby gears that Katelyn will soon grow out, I could not help but ponder what to do with them. Do I donate them all now or save them for just in case. I have no idea yet. Trying to fulfill the role of a submissive wife, I should not purposely want any more kids. Charles is quite content at this point. Often time, I am too. I am already very blessed. As Ryan will begin elementary school tomorrow, the burden to raise him as he grows older seems to become heavier and heavier. It makes me realize that unless I am ready to nurture and parent another child....the excitement of getting pregnant and giving birth is so short lived but the rearing of a child is a life time commitment. When I think of that, I can say with peace that I am good for now. Really.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
My sickness
It has literally been years since I got sick and requires medication (last time was giving birth, so it doesn’t count). So when the fever started on thurs night, I fought it off; but then it came back a couple days later and I had to let the in-law family know. As a result, I was advised max strength Tylenol after the thermometer read 102C. as a nursing mom, I reluctantly took it. By Sunday morning, I was still feeling bad and by then thermometer registered 104.5C! I dared not to tell them the 0.5c but the high fever was alarming enough to set me off to more actions. So besides being seen by doctor brother-in-law (BIL), I had to seek out my drug dealer cousin in Chicago especially after taking Tylenol, my interim temp was still hanging at 103c. So, I suggested that may be I need a different med like ibuprofen which Dr BIL did bring over that afternoon. During the whole time, I seriously thought I was ‘dying’ and begged the good lord not to take me away yet. (yup, I had to remind Him of how young the kids are)
When Dr BIL brought some heavy duty stuff – 800 mg Motrin or prescription grade ibuprofen. I thought to myself I can’t pop that in!!! Last time when I experienced serious pain after delivery, the med was only 600 mg! So I insisted on cutting it in half! Meanwhile, he held out an antibiotic pill and suggested that I would take it due to my high fever (just in case); again, I haven’t had those in like forever and I really hate to pass that on to the bb. But I weighed between my being alive and the bb temporary impact, I had to choose to live first.
By Monday, I felt much better. But my temp still red at 102c and just would not break. I up’ed the med to 600 mg. The entire day I felt fine even though I was carrying 101-102c. By then, I thought to myself, either this fever is real (which will be bad since I know persistent fever is usually an indication of some serious underlying illnesses) or this fever is not real at all. So I ask for a different thermometer before I drug myself (and the bb) again.
So, in the end, I did have a bout of viral infection but my real temperature was erroneously measured 2-3C higher than what it really is. And yes, that darn thing went to the garbage can real fast.
Gosh, what did I learn from all of this. Or I mean should there be a lesson in every illness? Probably not, but the fact that I rarely got sick and I was made believed that I was really sick led to a few things that I think only God meant it to be……
- My sister-in-law had to take the kids to VBS on the first day. Otherwise, she would not have a chance to step into that church cause I was the designated driver for the whole week. Because of her being there, she was able to witness the VBS director gracefully accepted both boys into the VBS program even though their names, for whatever reason, were not shown in the roster. This, by the way, is Ryan’s cousin’s first ever VBS and it was my hope to introduce him while we happened to be in town (that church is so close to their house!)
- I got to see in laws family pulled together to help out….they took Ryan to sleepover and washed baby. They made special soup for me etc.
God is sovereign and good. But still get an accurate thermometer in the meantime!
When Dr BIL brought some heavy duty stuff – 800 mg Motrin or prescription grade ibuprofen. I thought to myself I can’t pop that in!!! Last time when I experienced serious pain after delivery, the med was only 600 mg! So I insisted on cutting it in half! Meanwhile, he held out an antibiotic pill and suggested that I would take it due to my high fever (just in case); again, I haven’t had those in like forever and I really hate to pass that on to the bb. But I weighed between my being alive and the bb temporary impact, I had to choose to live first.
By Monday, I felt much better. But my temp still red at 102c and just would not break. I up’ed the med to 600 mg. The entire day I felt fine even though I was carrying 101-102c. By then, I thought to myself, either this fever is real (which will be bad since I know persistent fever is usually an indication of some serious underlying illnesses) or this fever is not real at all. So I ask for a different thermometer before I drug myself (and the bb) again.
So, in the end, I did have a bout of viral infection but my real temperature was erroneously measured 2-3C higher than what it really is. And yes, that darn thing went to the garbage can real fast.
Gosh, what did I learn from all of this. Or I mean should there be a lesson in every illness? Probably not, but the fact that I rarely got sick and I was made believed that I was really sick led to a few things that I think only God meant it to be……
- My sister-in-law had to take the kids to VBS on the first day. Otherwise, she would not have a chance to step into that church cause I was the designated driver for the whole week. Because of her being there, she was able to witness the VBS director gracefully accepted both boys into the VBS program even though their names, for whatever reason, were not shown in the roster. This, by the way, is Ryan’s cousin’s first ever VBS and it was my hope to introduce him while we happened to be in town (that church is so close to their house!)
- I got to see in laws family pulled together to help out….they took Ryan to sleepover and washed baby. They made special soup for me etc.
God is sovereign and good. But still get an accurate thermometer in the meantime!
Positive Mom and Wife
Positive wife and mom…
Just started reading this book that Linda gave me years ago called ‘Power of a Positive Wife’. I never bother reading it cause I knew what she would say. I still don’t feel the closeness as he and I chat on the phone. I mean I don’t even want to talk for long cause things I know I should ask/chitchat about, for some reason, my lips just would not budge. Of course after started reading the book, I realize that I have not asked Him to help me for a long long time.
In spite of my spouse’s shortcomings, I need to be supportive. I realize Ryan takes after me when it comes to being a pessimist – I thought I lost a toy at a restaurant and when we went back to retrieve it and couldn’t find it, he said ‘Why did you leave it there?’ It is no surprise to me that he is like that but it strikes me that how I have been just like him to Charles! And it is annoying! So, I need to pray for my son and constantly remind him what not to say in an already bad situation. While I need to teach him to be positive, I must live it too.
Secondly, during my bout of sickness, he got to sleepover at the cousin’s house. His excitement in going there and lack of concern for my well-being was very disappointing to me. I could not figure out why. I thought he was a pretty loving son! Again, I realize that I really have not been positive with him like praising him for his first drawing after art class, asking him about his VBS, finding out about his time at the cousin’s? I did none of that!!! Granted this boy is no angel and he really is still quite self-centered; but in spite of that, I need to be a positive mom first.
------
after years of struggling to untangle the communication web in this family, I finally got it. They don’t talk or plan things as I thought or expected they would!! I need to do that part myself! I also realized that they don’t always have the answers, I can and need to hold my ground as well. After 11 years, you hope it is not too late.
Just started reading this book that Linda gave me years ago called ‘Power of a Positive Wife’. I never bother reading it cause I knew what she would say. I still don’t feel the closeness as he and I chat on the phone. I mean I don’t even want to talk for long cause things I know I should ask/chitchat about, for some reason, my lips just would not budge. Of course after started reading the book, I realize that I have not asked Him to help me for a long long time.
In spite of my spouse’s shortcomings, I need to be supportive. I realize Ryan takes after me when it comes to being a pessimist – I thought I lost a toy at a restaurant and when we went back to retrieve it and couldn’t find it, he said ‘Why did you leave it there?’ It is no surprise to me that he is like that but it strikes me that how I have been just like him to Charles! And it is annoying! So, I need to pray for my son and constantly remind him what not to say in an already bad situation. While I need to teach him to be positive, I must live it too.
Secondly, during my bout of sickness, he got to sleepover at the cousin’s house. His excitement in going there and lack of concern for my well-being was very disappointing to me. I could not figure out why. I thought he was a pretty loving son! Again, I realize that I really have not been positive with him like praising him for his first drawing after art class, asking him about his VBS, finding out about his time at the cousin’s? I did none of that!!! Granted this boy is no angel and he really is still quite self-centered; but in spite of that, I need to be a positive mom first.
------
after years of struggling to untangle the communication web in this family, I finally got it. They don’t talk or plan things as I thought or expected they would!! I need to do that part myself! I also realized that they don’t always have the answers, I can and need to hold my ground as well. After 11 years, you hope it is not too late.
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