Real Life CSI

Last month one afternoon, I was about to sit down and do some homework with Ryan; all of a sudden, I saw a black SUV pull up quickly by the sidewalk and several bullet vested cops got out and positioned themselves around the vehicle. From all the crime drama I watched, it was not hard to recognize I was potentially nearby a crime scene. Once I saw them drawing guns at what seemed like the neighbor on the left side, I knew we had to get out of the living room. So, we hid in our bedroom. Then the cop finally gave the guy a last chance to come out without firing any bullets. Thank God he did!!!

I must say this latest incident gave me a renew sense of urgency that we really need to MOVE as soon as possible.

Katelyn's first 3 months

New Blog

Today marks the first entry to this family blog. I have always used it as my own journal but I realize that I can also expand it to include the family - esp. for the little ones.

So, where are we? Ryan is at school. Tues and Thurs are my duty to take him to school while the dad takes work calls at home. Thankfully, the little one is still sleeping soundly. Ryan will also have his first T-ball practice today. Yeah, we start him on this even before music lessons. It will be another 'thing' in his schedule in addition to his chinese and math homework.

As for Katelyn, she is almost 3 months already. It has been such a joy to see her grow. I still remember how fragile she was being at 6 lb'ish....and how I had to deal with all the postpartum aches and pains and vowed not to ever have kids again. It might still be true but definitely the whole anxiety and stress is gone. Thank God! She is more responsive now and gives you a big smile when you play with her. She really fusses only when she is tired or wants to be fed. Her hair is so fine and turned a little brown on the ends. The double eyelids are still hidden in there somewhere. LOL. She is still not as light as her bro, who knows why. I realize how much I do enjoy this period when they are so little. I know full well life will get harder as they grow.

A Little Hope

Time seems to fly by so fast as we march in the another month. Katelyn is becoming more social and starting to googoo gaga in response to your talking to her. She is not as generous with her smile but she would give you a big one while you smile at her. Even though these few months of staying at home can be so mundane but I am soaking it in as much as I can knowing this period of baby-hood is so short. I love the holding, feeding, and most enjoyable to me is sleeping with her in my arms. The hardest so far is definitely her being a light sleeper. Her eye lid is still single and occasionally you can see the double appear; so the jury is still out on that one. Her skin still seems to be darker than Ryan so I am hoping she will turn lighter soon!

As for things with hubby, it's getting a little bit better. Just need to do more on my part to care for him. Taking it slowly for now. His work has been so hectic and there seems to be a chance to jump ship; but he will have to wait and see what the offer will be...it's gonna be too good to turn down for him to move....so we will see. On the other hand, the housing project is going slowly and by my rough guess, it will be a best case to begin construction sometime in the summer.

I have definitely been more conscious about my attitude when teaching Ryan, we have had a better time doing homework and studying. I realize how much effect words can have. I tried to affirm his improvement and reassure him that he will succeed. I can see the difference. This kid is also improving on his reading thanks to the school 1st grade reading jump. However, I still think he is naturally more curious about math. We have been getting him to understand some concepts and he seems to be able to grasp them so far. His weakness is impatient and careless but definitely teacheable!

The Grind of Life

It's Monday morning and the busy life of managing a family starts to weigh on me- or having 2nd child really adds more burden in every aspect of our lives. Our marriage has been a bit shaky and it is being challenged even more; my temper gets short with Ryan and I realized I have become more physical with him when it comes to discipline. I have even slapped him a few times in the heat of anger. I saw the effect of it that I finally had to apologize to him and realize that I really needed help to hold it in. The verse about not exacerbate our children really hit me cause I saw the raw rage that came out of him. I even asked him what made me more mad and he confirmed to me that hitting his behind is a world of difference than slapping his face. I must end it yesterday.

Little Katelyn growing slowly but surely. Now the 3rd-child wave has already hit the chinese side and I find my heart starting to wander. I have to keep reminding myself not only to be content but to trust that God knows best what everyone of us need and can handle. I need to keep my eyes focus upward and not around me. To conceive and bear a child could be the easiest part but I realize to raise up a god-fearing child is a whole different thing. How am I doing with just one? two? I need to remind myself to be constantly be content with what God has already blessed me. Even though I probably would not go full length to prevent another child but I definitely will not let myself be entangled or burdened by it. My focus ought to be upward, my marriage, and the little sinners.

A conversation with a couple older parents this weekend also help remind me the life skills that I need to start training Ryan on even at his age. (Yes, feeding an infant is comparatively the easier task.) So, I started him on making his bed, changing toilet paper, and folding his clothes. Next we need to work on alarm clock and changing his clothes on his own. They also help affirmed that character building is far more important than anything else. One of them mentioned that she constantly told her kids that she is responsible for the health of their body, heart, and soul through college. It really hit me especially the heart part since I have felt alot of guilt about the slapping episode. An another article posted of fb was also timely in reminding me the heartache that we feel as young mothers shall pass so fast that we should cherish even the most annoying, frustrating things that these little ones do.

So, with that perspective, hope this Monday will pass with joy and peace!

Winning and Losing

As usual, we do family time on Wednesdays and Ryan loves it not because of the bible/prayer time, but the board game afterward. We recently started on a jr. version of scrabble and he absolutely loves it. Ryan is very quick to learning strategies. He is definitely good at scheming things. But his downfall comes when he feels like he is losing. The other night, when charles and I both got points and he still didn't get any, he refused to play a letter that potentially can get him points later. Simply, he just ignored the rules when his winning chance was threatened. There was a big hooblah that followed with crying, tantrum, and the whole 9 yard. Then after he calmed down and I stopped whooping him; all of a sudden, I understood why he acted up this time but not before (he always get a point too just like us before having to face that issue). I know he get that part from me...not a good loser. So, I had to explain to him that ending the game would be more painful that losing; no one would play with him who broke rules. But it is another thought that probably help him more - being behind does not equal to losing; I tell him when that happens, remind himself that as long as the game is not over yet, I can still win. I hope he will learn from it or he will lose more in life.

Family and holidays

The Chinese new year is unusually late this year. Interestingly it will coincide with valentine's day. It is strange that lately I have started to feel more nostalgic about being with family (immediate or not, like-able or not). Perhaps I am getting old? I am not quite sure. The thought of living here long term without families (not even a distant cousin, so sad) isn't very heartwarming right now. I don't know what to do or can do about it. But it definitely makes me think about how I will spend time around holiday this year. It also makes me realize how painful for those who spends it alone. I pray that God will bring them to my thoughts to reach to them.

Dad called just to let me know they were having a reunion dinner. So, I called them around dinner time and it was nice to hear the crowd there. I am glad for auntie who now is part of the family and I am sure she enjoys the atmosphere. That's what family is all about.