Baby Tsai
I am officially 22 weeks along and we are excited to find out it will be a girl! I guess part of me wants either gender. But I am glad I didn't place too much desire on either since I don't get to decide anyways. So, that's how it turned out and we are just grateful things are going well and uneventful.
I have been feeling the small kicks and somersaults these days. It never fails to amaze me and of course I almost forget what it was like. I must say I do enjoy being pregnant. I am definitely getting bigger. Gained like almost 8 lbs in the last month! Wasai!
My gratefulness goes beyond that esp. since finding out my friend who likely has to terminate a pregnancy due to a genetic condition. I cannot even begin to feel what they are going through. I just pray for them.
A lesson on obedience
Then after the church retreat, somehow I am more convicted than ever to just get things smoothed out with the leaders. It felt right to do it now. It was painful - trust me. Having to apologize for something I didn't think I was 100% at fault is tough. So, it took me one long night to put things in perspective. Irrespective to what others did, I felt God just wanted me to rectify my wrongs and that's all I needed to focus on. That's what happened. Toward the end of the night, we were also given the news of his departure which he only decided to confide with a few just in recent days. Right there and then, I knew God was gracious to ME! Had I learned the news without the having the air cleared, I would have to carry that burden with me for a long time. So, another example of blessing from listening to Him. So, what's gonna happen? I don't know. But perhaps that's better for both parties...and it's time to move on.
STLCCC
This past Sunday we helped put together a dinner gathering for the STLCCC in the bay area. It started from having Louisa in town, then the Pans, and it quickly grew to a 30 people reunion. It was definitely a blessing to see the familiar faces (at least more than 1/2 people I know). Just remembering the spiritual home I once had and the friendship I was able to carry with me to this day.
House
Looks like we are moving along with the private driveway issue. Met with the difficult neighbor and sorta got their blessing. He is some ex exec at Oracle and other startup. Found out he is also a leader at the presbyterian church. Then we also met the owner of the driveway. The Welshs are very nice and we had a great talk with them. The husband is a doctor and somehow we got to talk about the wife's Ob and sure enough it was Dr. Inouye. Instantly, we bonded. I even recommended the chinese doc to her as they are hoping to have more children.
The block party that we had last Sunday was also a good chance to meet the rest of the neighbors. I must admit the block is a very friendly and homey place. I just wish we can get the house built soon. But thinking about the amount of research and stress that we will have to go through makes me crinch. Perhaps I need to focus more to enjoy the process....
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Monday, July 27, 2009
Just random things
Oh it's been over a month since my last post....so I am hoping to jot down some random thoughts before I forget!
Baby
- Everything is going well so far. We opted for the 2 genetic testings without NT and thankfully the result is negative. I am just grateful for not having to go through the stress of ammio as in my other friends. The wait they had to go through is quite dreadful. I hope sheirman's baby will be fine for the rest of testing.
- Kudos to Dr. Inouye again. During the 2nd apt, he had a hard trying to locate the heart beat; so instead of alarming me, he just got the ultrasound machine and found the little bean that way.
- Coming to almost 19 weeks, I have been able to feel the bean fluttering in my tummy. I am still in awe of it esp. I was watching some video clips of fetus growth. Seeing how the glob of substance just grow into a complex creature can only be the work of an all powerful God.
- Today we went to visit Eve and Stan's newborn. Boy, seeing her labor through the round the clock schedule brought back alot of memory. I really almost forgot about how hard it was during the first couple weeks.
- Tonight we had Irona and Eric over for a chat. Somehow we got to the topic of getting pregnant and we started sharing our story with them. It really reminded me of a greater responsibility that we have to share this testimony because indeed we have learned so much from it. Pray that they will not have to go through all these trials but just have the baby at His timing.
- Oh I also went through a rough patch with another couple who have had a tough time getting preg with 2nd. We did not share the news with them timing but they already have the knowledge. So, being on the other side of the fence, I knew exactly what not to do. She was kinda cold and nonchalant to both of us; but I know I cannot shy away from that. So, I mustered up some strength and wrote them an email to share the news and also to apologized for the delay in telling them. All is fine now (at least I don't feel the tension on my side anymore). I wish my rough relationship with another couple could end the same way. But never have I felt like they really reached out to me at all. So, still praying how to end the in-passe.
Ryan
- Thank God Ryan's willingness to speak Chinese has improved greatly after going to summer school. He memorized alot of poems and recited them proudly. We just need to be more disciplined ourselves in speaking to them in Chinese and making him speak at the same time.
- The other day while we were playing balloon in the living, all of a sudden he just stopped and started cleaning the living room. It was the most hilarious thing. He went on for at least 10 min. before picking up the racket again.
- My latest lesson with a 5 yr old is to relentlessly dig up the reason why they throw a tandrum. It really helps clear up misunderstanding on both sides. One good example was he got all upset because I did not let him eat snack before dinner. So, after he calmed down from his tandrum, I explained to him that he could get a snack if it is 30 min. before meal time. So, I instructed him to ask me about the timing next time. You know what, he got it. He now asks me about the timing and we both don't need to get upset.
- The other day he was screaming when his dad asked him to come out of a bath. After they both calm down, I explained to him screaming was not the right behavior and he needed to apologize; meanwhile, if he wanted to stay in the tub longer, he could ask nicely for 5 min. instead of screaming. So, understanding the frustration and giving him a tool to express his need is what helps to prevent future episodes.
- Even there are times when I accidentally hurt him while I thought he was just being difficult; so I got a chance to apologize tonight (but I had no idea how I hurt him as he claimed hehe).
House
- God has taught me to be submissive in this one. Rather than fighting it, I have been trying to understand that this rebuilding a house thing could be a blessing. Though the process will not be easy, it will definitely be a growing opportunity for both of us. I am determined to not let it be our stumbling block but one that bound us closer together. We try to pray regularly and specificially for it (which remind me we need to make up prayer tomorrow). To record God's blessing in every step.
Ok, I am getting tired. More to come.
Baby
- Everything is going well so far. We opted for the 2 genetic testings without NT and thankfully the result is negative. I am just grateful for not having to go through the stress of ammio as in my other friends. The wait they had to go through is quite dreadful. I hope sheirman's baby will be fine for the rest of testing.
- Kudos to Dr. Inouye again. During the 2nd apt, he had a hard trying to locate the heart beat; so instead of alarming me, he just got the ultrasound machine and found the little bean that way.
- Coming to almost 19 weeks, I have been able to feel the bean fluttering in my tummy. I am still in awe of it esp. I was watching some video clips of fetus growth. Seeing how the glob of substance just grow into a complex creature can only be the work of an all powerful God.
- Today we went to visit Eve and Stan's newborn. Boy, seeing her labor through the round the clock schedule brought back alot of memory. I really almost forgot about how hard it was during the first couple weeks.
- Tonight we had Irona and Eric over for a chat. Somehow we got to the topic of getting pregnant and we started sharing our story with them. It really reminded me of a greater responsibility that we have to share this testimony because indeed we have learned so much from it. Pray that they will not have to go through all these trials but just have the baby at His timing.
- Oh I also went through a rough patch with another couple who have had a tough time getting preg with 2nd. We did not share the news with them timing but they already have the knowledge. So, being on the other side of the fence, I knew exactly what not to do. She was kinda cold and nonchalant to both of us; but I know I cannot shy away from that. So, I mustered up some strength and wrote them an email to share the news and also to apologized for the delay in telling them. All is fine now (at least I don't feel the tension on my side anymore). I wish my rough relationship with another couple could end the same way. But never have I felt like they really reached out to me at all. So, still praying how to end the in-passe.
Ryan
- Thank God Ryan's willingness to speak Chinese has improved greatly after going to summer school. He memorized alot of poems and recited them proudly. We just need to be more disciplined ourselves in speaking to them in Chinese and making him speak at the same time.
- The other day while we were playing balloon in the living, all of a sudden he just stopped and started cleaning the living room. It was the most hilarious thing. He went on for at least 10 min. before picking up the racket again.
- My latest lesson with a 5 yr old is to relentlessly dig up the reason why they throw a tandrum. It really helps clear up misunderstanding on both sides. One good example was he got all upset because I did not let him eat snack before dinner. So, after he calmed down from his tandrum, I explained to him that he could get a snack if it is 30 min. before meal time. So, I instructed him to ask me about the timing next time. You know what, he got it. He now asks me about the timing and we both don't need to get upset.
- The other day he was screaming when his dad asked him to come out of a bath. After they both calm down, I explained to him screaming was not the right behavior and he needed to apologize; meanwhile, if he wanted to stay in the tub longer, he could ask nicely for 5 min. instead of screaming. So, understanding the frustration and giving him a tool to express his need is what helps to prevent future episodes.
- Even there are times when I accidentally hurt him while I thought he was just being difficult; so I got a chance to apologize tonight (but I had no idea how I hurt him as he claimed hehe).
House
- God has taught me to be submissive in this one. Rather than fighting it, I have been trying to understand that this rebuilding a house thing could be a blessing. Though the process will not be easy, it will definitely be a growing opportunity for both of us. I am determined to not let it be our stumbling block but one that bound us closer together. We try to pray regularly and specificially for it (which remind me we need to make up prayer tomorrow). To record God's blessing in every step.
Ok, I am getting tired. More to come.
Monday, June 22, 2009
A Blessed Weekend
The 2009 June weekend turned out to be one that is hard to beat. First of all, 6/19 marked out 10th anniversay (yes, it's been that long). My in laws made a special trip out here to celebrate Ryan's birthday. We definitely held a much larger party that I had envisioned. But it was all fun for those who were there. Then to top it off, my in law went ahead and helped us buy a lot in Saratoga - a lot that is deemed a rare find. So, all of sudden, life seems to have shifted to another gear. I have mixed feeling about settling down in an upscale area that does not quite fit our social class. But the turn of event that led up to the property almost seems impossible - first Charles had to spot the listing; then they found the time to check it out esp. when the parents could actually inspect it themselves (they had not come for over 3 yrs before this trip);lastly the seller would have to rescind his other offer to accept ours. All happened less than 48 hrs. - $1 million transacted. Just mind boggling to me.
So now there is still closing of the contract to be concerned about before we move on to the rebuilding part. To add to the saga, my architect overly ambitious brother is very much interested bidding for the job.
Today it's the first day of VBS.
I think I just need some down time right about now.
So now there is still closing of the contract to be concerned about before we move on to the rebuilding part. To add to the saga, my architect overly ambitious brother is very much interested bidding for the job.
Today it's the first day of VBS.
I think I just need some down time right about now.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Living to the fullest
Since the life-death week that I experienced a couple weeks ago, I am definitely more conscious about letting things go while capturing what is truly important in life. At the end of last week, I got up on a Saturday morning unusually early and I was just filled with the urge to talk to my family in HK. I called my cousin who just had a baby and then her mom. It was good to know that they are doing fine and just excited about the new born. Then my last call was to my dad. The fellowship I had the night before with the Valley ladies reminded me about forgiveness does not start until someone says sorry. I asked God to help me so I mustered up some courage (yea it takes some guts to do it) and called my dad. Just told him I was sorry about the way I acted the other day on the phone. He just brushed it off as if he didn't mind about it. I guess that's how we made up.
Osward Chambers “We are not here to prove God answers prayer; we are here to be living monuments of God’s grace.”
I read yesterday the quote above and it really just hit me how often time we as christians focused so much on the first part and forgetting the second part. There is no need for us to prove if God answers prayer; because He does and just may not be the answer we like some times. However, the latter part is really up to us to choose whether to live as a testement to His grace especially while prayers are not answered or while prayers are denied. I know it is hard to do and yet that's the ultimate way to transcent the most painful trial that we may be in.
Osward Chambers “We are not here to prove God answers prayer; we are here to be living monuments of God’s grace.”
I read yesterday the quote above and it really just hit me how often time we as christians focused so much on the first part and forgetting the second part. There is no need for us to prove if God answers prayer; because He does and just may not be the answer we like some times. However, the latter part is really up to us to choose whether to live as a testement to His grace especially while prayers are not answered or while prayers are denied. I know it is hard to do and yet that's the ultimate way to transcent the most painful trial that we may be in.
Friday, June 5, 2009
Life Is Not in Our Hands
Just when I thought the passing of auntie's sister is not shocking enough, I learned today that Pastor Sun's wife, Evie, is diagnosed of an aggressive form of breast cancer. Then Charles' friend's brother also died in a fall this week. I just felt like life just suddenly stands still forcing me to re-examine it as a whole. The only thing I can think of is 1) life is not in our hands and not take anything, any day for granted with love ones; 2) life is too short to live with regrets; let of of grudge and let loose a little; 3) anything and really not to be caught off guard should anything happen to us. God has already shown us many times over that He is in control no matter what life brings. Indeed, we never know what our future holds and should these misfortunate happen to us. But He promises to walk with us no matter what. Meanwhile, live life to its fullest and enjoy love ones while we can. Call them, hug them, visit them...
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Life and Death
Just a couple days after our argument, a shocking email came through from Mandy....Auntie's older sister, who was an avid cross country biker, had fallen off and fell in a coma with little chance of survival. I just met her for the first time at the wedding 6 months ago. Who would have though she had only a few months on earth when they said their goodbyes?!
On the same day, Pangela finally broke the news of her pregnancy as well. All of a sudden, things seem to clear by whom life is being controlled. Just a week ago, Queenie gave birth to a little boy in place of her loss just a year ago.
Perhaps the jotting reminder is to really treasure love ones when we are with them. We just never know when our time is up on this earth.
Now, whatever argument we had seem to just fade in time. Dad and auntie are probably busy trying to get to London and take care of things. He alone can provide comfort in times like these.
On the same day, Pangela finally broke the news of her pregnancy as well. All of a sudden, things seem to clear by whom life is being controlled. Just a week ago, Queenie gave birth to a little boy in place of her loss just a year ago.
Perhaps the jotting reminder is to really treasure love ones when we are with them. We just never know when our time is up on this earth.
Now, whatever argument we had seem to just fade in time. Dad and auntie are probably busy trying to get to London and take care of things. He alone can provide comfort in times like these.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
All Things are indeed possible....
Yesterday Mandy called at her usual time and passed on the good news about the birth of Queenie's baby boy. At the time, I was just relieved and joyful to hear about the safe and fast (20 min!) delivery; but I awoke this morning and God reminded me something deeper to rejoice. This little one was born 2 weeks early and barely made it in the month of May. I remember Mandy mentioned about how it would be bitter sweet for the parents that the baby's due date was around the same time as baby nichelle's passing. Isn't God so gracious? I just cannot help but tear up thinking about that. Not only is He gracious in blessing them with this baby boy so soon after what happened but even right down to the birth-He timed it so perfectly. Now the family can have time and space to remember his sister while being free to rejoice for the newborn. Honestly, I didn't even pray to that detail but hey who am I to know =). I hope the parents too will see the hands of God in all of these blessings.
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May 29
Impossible Flowers
"For with God nothing shall be impossible" (Luke 1:37). Far up in the Alpine hollows, year by year God works one of His marvels. The snow-patches lie there, frozen with ice at their edge from the strife of sunny days and frosty nights; and through that ice-crust come, unscathed, flowers that bloom.
Back in the days of the by-gone summer, the little soldanelle plant spread its leaves wide and flat on the ground, to drink in the sun-rays, and it kept them stored in the root through the winter. Then spring came, and stirred the pulses even below the snow-shroud, and as it sprouted, warmth was given out in such strange measure that it thawed a little dome in the snow above its head. Higher and higher it grew and always above it rose the bell of air, till the flower-bud formed safely within it: and at last the icy covering of the air-bell gave way and let the blossom through into the sunshine, the crystalline texture of its mauve petals sparkling like snow itself as if it bore the traces of the flight through which it had come.
And the fragile thing rings an echo in our hearts that none of the jewel-like flowers nestled in the warm turf on the slopes below could waken. We love to see the impossible done. And so does God. Face it out to the end, cast away every shadow of hope on the human side as an absolute hindrance to the Divine, heap up all the difficulties together recklessly, and pile as many more on as you can find; you cannot get beyond the blessed climax of impossibility. Let faith swing out to Him. He is the God of the impossible. --Selected
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May 29
Impossible Flowers
"For with God nothing shall be impossible" (Luke 1:37). Far up in the Alpine hollows, year by year God works one of His marvels. The snow-patches lie there, frozen with ice at their edge from the strife of sunny days and frosty nights; and through that ice-crust come, unscathed, flowers that bloom.
Back in the days of the by-gone summer, the little soldanelle plant spread its leaves wide and flat on the ground, to drink in the sun-rays, and it kept them stored in the root through the winter. Then spring came, and stirred the pulses even below the snow-shroud, and as it sprouted, warmth was given out in such strange measure that it thawed a little dome in the snow above its head. Higher and higher it grew and always above it rose the bell of air, till the flower-bud formed safely within it: and at last the icy covering of the air-bell gave way and let the blossom through into the sunshine, the crystalline texture of its mauve petals sparkling like snow itself as if it bore the traces of the flight through which it had come.
And the fragile thing rings an echo in our hearts that none of the jewel-like flowers nestled in the warm turf on the slopes below could waken. We love to see the impossible done. And so does God. Face it out to the end, cast away every shadow of hope on the human side as an absolute hindrance to the Divine, heap up all the difficulties together recklessly, and pile as many more on as you can find; you cannot get beyond the blessed climax of impossibility. Let faith swing out to Him. He is the God of the impossible. --Selected
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