I finally felt the tug in my pants and probably need to dig up some preggo clothes that were packed away in a closet somewhere. My constant craving is spicy food. I had Indian last week....tonight had to make some kimchi fried rice. I must say the nausea seems to be worse this time around...not so bad that I would go puke; but just seems to last throughout the day. My tummy is always bloated. Man this isn't gonna be an easy one.
Dear God, I thank you for the baby is still growing in me. I pray that You hands will continue to knit its facial features and form its vital organs perfectly. I pray that You will give us peace throughout this amazing journey together. I almost forget the incredible miracle of life that only You can give. I pray that I would fix my mind on being thankful and trusting in Your sovereignty and goodness.
Amen.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Saturday, April 25, 2009
I wish I had journal'ed last time while I was carrying Ryan. I had no clue how I went through the few weeks up until my first appointment. Perhaps the tendency for bad thoughts were less just because the road getting there was not as painful and that I was younger. But this time around, I need to constantly remind myself to take 'my thoughts captived to Christ'. I need to stop analyzing all the symptoms or non-symptoms daily. I found the following poem and I really need to meditate on it instead of worrying. It is not in my control anyways. I can only pray for this precious life to thrive day by day, week by week. There are 5 more weeks before finding the truth. That sure seems like eternity. But it sure paled in comparison to years of waiting. I just need to relax and pray and rest in the goodness of God.
One thing I craved the same sour/spicy thing as last time. Kimchi is my fav.!
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Prayer for a Safe Pregnancy
This life you have given us is so tiny, fragile, and vulnerable,safe in the womb of flesh and hope,yet subject to danger and death.O God of love, creator of life,hear our prayer.We want this baby so much.Please grant this child of ours a full term of nurture,the joy and mystery of life,and the blessing of your love.Grant us the fulfillment of our dreams,a baby to cherish and protect,a child to teacHi Friend,
I am excited to offer you this prayers that you can pray for your unborn baby.
Prayer:
Father, in Jesus name I worship you. I bless you and give you praise. Father, I come to you in Jesus' name and through the blood of Jesus Christ to ask you to protect and bless the baby in my womb.
Thank you Father, that every good and perfect gift comes from you. I am happy that I am pregnant. You have blessed me with a baby.
Lord you said all that you create or created is good (Genesis 1: 25). I thank you, Father, that the baby already formed in my womb is your workmanship created in true perfection according to your power. Father, all your works are beautiful and magnificent to behold. They are wonderfully finished. All your works are perfect, for every good and perfect gift comes from you (James 1:17). I thank you for a perfect baby in Jesus' name. I condemn every tongue that has risen against me and my baby, in accordance with your word. My baby will grow well. I shall put to bed a very healthy child. I cover the baby in my womb with the precious blood of Jesus.h and guide,a blessing to our family.Amen.
One thing I craved the same sour/spicy thing as last time. Kimchi is my fav.!
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Prayer for a Safe Pregnancy
This life you have given us is so tiny, fragile, and vulnerable,safe in the womb of flesh and hope,yet subject to danger and death.O God of love, creator of life,hear our prayer.We want this baby so much.Please grant this child of ours a full term of nurture,the joy and mystery of life,and the blessing of your love.Grant us the fulfillment of our dreams,a baby to cherish and protect,a child to teacHi Friend,
I am excited to offer you this prayers that you can pray for your unborn baby.
Prayer:
Father, in Jesus name I worship you. I bless you and give you praise. Father, I come to you in Jesus' name and through the blood of Jesus Christ to ask you to protect and bless the baby in my womb.
Thank you Father, that every good and perfect gift comes from you. I am happy that I am pregnant. You have blessed me with a baby.
Lord you said all that you create or created is good (Genesis 1: 25). I thank you, Father, that the baby already formed in my womb is your workmanship created in true perfection according to your power. Father, all your works are beautiful and magnificent to behold. They are wonderfully finished. All your works are perfect, for every good and perfect gift comes from you (James 1:17). I thank you for a perfect baby in Jesus' name. I condemn every tongue that has risen against me and my baby, in accordance with your word. My baby will grow well. I shall put to bed a very healthy child. I cover the baby in my womb with the precious blood of Jesus.h and guide,a blessing to our family.Amen.
As I am reading this devotion, I thought just how true that is.
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April 24
When God Says No
"There hath not failed one word of all his good promise" (1 Kings 8:56).
Some day we shall understand that God has a reason in every NO which He speaks through the slow movement of life. "Somehow God makes up to us." How often, when His people are worrying and perplexing themselves about their prayers not being answered, is God answering them in a far richer way! Glimpses of this we see occasionally, but the full revelation of it remains for the future.
"If God says 'Yes' to our prayer, dear heart,And the sunlight is golden, the sky is blue,While the smooth road beckons to me and you,And the song-birds warble as on we go,Pausing to gather the buds at our feet,Stopping to drink of the streamlets we meet,Happy, more happy, our journey will grow,If God says 'Yes' to our prayer, dear heart. "If God says 'No' to our prayer, dear heart,And the clouds hang heavy and dull and gray;If the rough rocks hinder and block the way,While the sharp winds pierce us and sting with cold;Ah, dear, there is home at the journey's end,And these are the trials the Father doth sendTo draw us as sheep to His Heavenly fold,If God says 'No' to our prayer, dear heart."
Oh for the faith that does not make haste, but waits patiently for the Lord, waits for the explanation that shall come in the end, at the revelation of Jesus Christ! When did God take anything from a man, without giving him manifold more in return? Suppose that the return had not been made immediately manifest, what then? Is today the limit of God's working time? Has He no provinces beyond this little world? Does the door of the grave open upon nothing but infinite darkness and eternal silence ? Yet, even confining the judgment within the hour of this life, it is true that God never touches the heart with a trial without intending to bring upon it some grander gift, some tenderer benediction. He has attained to an eminent degree of Christian grace who knows how to wait. --Selected
When the frosts are in the valley,And the mountain tops are grey,And the choicest buds are blighted,And the blossoms die away,A loving Father whispers,"This cometh from my hand";Blessed are ye if ye trustWhere ye cannot understand. If, after years of toiling,Your wealth should fly awayAnd leave your hands all empty,And your locks are turning grey,Remember then your FatherOwns all the sea and land;Blessed are ye if ye trustWhere ye cannot understand.--Selected
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April 24
When God Says No
"There hath not failed one word of all his good promise" (1 Kings 8:56).
Some day we shall understand that God has a reason in every NO which He speaks through the slow movement of life. "Somehow God makes up to us." How often, when His people are worrying and perplexing themselves about their prayers not being answered, is God answering them in a far richer way! Glimpses of this we see occasionally, but the full revelation of it remains for the future.
"If God says 'Yes' to our prayer, dear heart,And the sunlight is golden, the sky is blue,While the smooth road beckons to me and you,And the song-birds warble as on we go,Pausing to gather the buds at our feet,Stopping to drink of the streamlets we meet,Happy, more happy, our journey will grow,If God says 'Yes' to our prayer, dear heart. "If God says 'No' to our prayer, dear heart,And the clouds hang heavy and dull and gray;If the rough rocks hinder and block the way,While the sharp winds pierce us and sting with cold;Ah, dear, there is home at the journey's end,And these are the trials the Father doth sendTo draw us as sheep to His Heavenly fold,If God says 'No' to our prayer, dear heart."
Oh for the faith that does not make haste, but waits patiently for the Lord, waits for the explanation that shall come in the end, at the revelation of Jesus Christ! When did God take anything from a man, without giving him manifold more in return? Suppose that the return had not been made immediately manifest, what then? Is today the limit of God's working time? Has He no provinces beyond this little world? Does the door of the grave open upon nothing but infinite darkness and eternal silence ? Yet, even confining the judgment within the hour of this life, it is true that God never touches the heart with a trial without intending to bring upon it some grander gift, some tenderer benediction. He has attained to an eminent degree of Christian grace who knows how to wait. --Selected
When the frosts are in the valley,And the mountain tops are grey,And the choicest buds are blighted,And the blossoms die away,A loving Father whispers,"This cometh from my hand";Blessed are ye if ye trustWhere ye cannot understand. If, after years of toiling,Your wealth should fly awayAnd leave your hands all empty,And your locks are turning grey,Remember then your FatherOwns all the sea and land;Blessed are ye if ye trustWhere ye cannot understand.--Selected
Monday, April 20, 2009
Whatever is truthful
Just finished 5th week. I never had severe symptoms last time and this has just been the same so far. Just mild nausea on and off; bloated; not much food adversion; just today really felt the breast tenderness. Funny thing is Charles is experiencing more symptoms that me hahaha. So, if I had to wait till June to see Inouye, I guess I just have to take my mind off of it and trusting that everything is in God's hand.
Poor Ryan..one of his front teeth may be dying. He had a run in with a classmate at school. Now dentist just said it would not be a big deal if it is thoroughly dead without infection. I am just praying that is the case. Poor baby.
My dad called late last night to talk about the housing issue. Then I had to tell him cause I probably cannot make it in Dec. So, he went on to complain about Josh and Mandy. Sigh. For Josh, I truly feel like prayer is the only thing I can do for him and perhaps the most powerful one. He intellectually believes in the existence of God but he still lives in his old self. I truly believe that my dad will see God through His work in Josh. I sense that he feels very helpless when it comes to his son.
I am tired. But I still have a call to make for work. I wonder how long I will last.
Poor Ryan..one of his front teeth may be dying. He had a run in with a classmate at school. Now dentist just said it would not be a big deal if it is thoroughly dead without infection. I am just praying that is the case. Poor baby.
My dad called late last night to talk about the housing issue. Then I had to tell him cause I probably cannot make it in Dec. So, he went on to complain about Josh and Mandy. Sigh. For Josh, I truly feel like prayer is the only thing I can do for him and perhaps the most powerful one. He intellectually believes in the existence of God but he still lives in his old self. I truly believe that my dad will see God through His work in Josh. I sense that he feels very helpless when it comes to his son.
I am tired. But I still have a call to make for work. I wonder how long I will last.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Delayed Blessing
What a timing read!
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April 19
Delayed
"Know of a surety that thy seed shall be sojourners in a land that is not theirs; . . . they shall afflict them four hundred years; . . . and afterward they shall come out with great substance" (Gen. 15:12-14). An assured part of God's pledged blessing to us is delay and suffering. A delay in Abram's own lifetime that seemed to put God's pledge beyond fulfillment was followed by seemingly unendurable delay of Abram's descendants. But it was only a delay: they "came out with great substance." The pledge was redeemed.
God is going to test me with delays; and with the delays will come suffering, but through it all stands God's pledge: His new covenant with me in Christ, and His inviolable promise of every lesser blessing that I need. The delay and the suffering are part of the promised blessing; let me praise Him for them today; and let me wait on the Lord and be of good courage and He will strengthen my heart. --C. G. Trumbull
Unanswered yet the prayer your lips have pleadedIn agony of heart these many years?Does faith begin to fail? Is hope departing?And think you all in vain those falling tears?Say not the Father hath not heard your prayer;You shall have your desire sometime, somewhere.Unanswered yet? Nay do not say ungranted;Perhaps your work is not yet wholly done.The work began when first your prayer was uttered,And God will finish what He has begun.If you will keep the incense burning there,His glory you shall see sometime, somewhere.
Unanswered yet? Faith cannot be unanswered,Her feet are firmly planted on the Rock;Amid the wildest storms she stands undaunted,Nor quails before the loudest thunder shock.She knows Omnipotence has heard her prayer,And cries, "It shall be done"--sometime, somewhere.--Miss Ophelia G. Browning
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April 19
Delayed
"Know of a surety that thy seed shall be sojourners in a land that is not theirs; . . . they shall afflict them four hundred years; . . . and afterward they shall come out with great substance" (Gen. 15:12-14). An assured part of God's pledged blessing to us is delay and suffering. A delay in Abram's own lifetime that seemed to put God's pledge beyond fulfillment was followed by seemingly unendurable delay of Abram's descendants. But it was only a delay: they "came out with great substance." The pledge was redeemed.
God is going to test me with delays; and with the delays will come suffering, but through it all stands God's pledge: His new covenant with me in Christ, and His inviolable promise of every lesser blessing that I need. The delay and the suffering are part of the promised blessing; let me praise Him for them today; and let me wait on the Lord and be of good courage and He will strengthen my heart. --C. G. Trumbull
Unanswered yet the prayer your lips have pleadedIn agony of heart these many years?Does faith begin to fail? Is hope departing?And think you all in vain those falling tears?Say not the Father hath not heard your prayer;You shall have your desire sometime, somewhere.Unanswered yet? Nay do not say ungranted;Perhaps your work is not yet wholly done.The work began when first your prayer was uttered,And God will finish what He has begun.If you will keep the incense burning there,His glory you shall see sometime, somewhere.
Unanswered yet? Faith cannot be unanswered,Her feet are firmly planted on the Rock;Amid the wildest storms she stands undaunted,Nor quails before the loudest thunder shock.She knows Omnipotence has heard her prayer,And cries, "It shall be done"--sometime, somewhere.--Miss Ophelia G. Browning
Friday, April 17, 2009
Waiting
I called my primary yesterday and she insisted that I'd do another urine test at the clinic; and I was like you must be kidding me. So, I ignored her and called up my ob's office and immediately I was asked to go in for blood test. What a difference in treatment.
So, now we are in the waiting game. Meanwhile, it's so hard not to let terrible thoughts come to mind. Perhaps that's why God put this verse in the good book...
Philippians 4:8 (New International Version)
8Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
This morning, Ryan suddenly complained about pain in the scrotum. I looked up the web and got freaked out. It could be something serious. We prayed and we made him pray as well. By the time he was seen by the doc, the pain went away. Whew! It was quite a scary moment just not knowing what it could be. I think all the things happened lately just reminded me of the power of prayers. So, I even told Josh I would pray for a God fearing wife for him consistently from now on and that he should be 'scared'. Instead of nagging and preaching him, praying would be a more potent 'weapon' to his self-centered life right now.
still waiting...supposedly a 24 hr test. - 1 pm
Great Dr. Inouye is on vacation; more waiting. - 3 pm
Finally the on-call Dr. assistant called "Congratulations Mrs. Tsai" - 4 pm
And we had Italian for dinner.
So, now we are in the waiting game. Meanwhile, it's so hard not to let terrible thoughts come to mind. Perhaps that's why God put this verse in the good book...
Philippians 4:8 (New International Version)
8Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
This morning, Ryan suddenly complained about pain in the scrotum. I looked up the web and got freaked out. It could be something serious. We prayed and we made him pray as well. By the time he was seen by the doc, the pain went away. Whew! It was quite a scary moment just not knowing what it could be. I think all the things happened lately just reminded me of the power of prayers. So, I even told Josh I would pray for a God fearing wife for him consistently from now on and that he should be 'scared'. Instead of nagging and preaching him, praying would be a more potent 'weapon' to his self-centered life right now.
still waiting...supposedly a 24 hr test. - 1 pm
Great Dr. Inouye is on vacation; more waiting. - 3 pm
Finally the on-call Dr. assistant called "Congratulations Mrs. Tsai" - 4 pm
And we had Italian for dinner.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Cautious Joy
We began Chinese herbal treatment about a month and a half ago. At the time, the real motivation was really just that 'it can't hurt' mentality. So, instead of blowing off the insurance money on massages; I just found a doctor whom I vaguely remember specializes in my area of needs. So, that started the daily brewing of the herbal medicine and chucking 2 large glasses day and night. While Charles gobbles up tons of big black pills that he claims has made him extremely tired (yes he sleeps alot on the weekend). This week's treatment would mark the end of what my insurance money can afford. Meanwhile, I postponed the Stanford appointment and the earliest appt for this new Dr. happens to be today.
Two days ago, when my AF is supposed to come, only a small brownish thing instead. It is not unusual as a precursor to the full blown thing; but what was out of ordinary was the real thing did not come at all. So, I started to rationalize....checking out the web....then catching myself not to get too far ahead with just that. Cautious joy. Meanwhile, I prayed that my heart would be guarded and that it would be definitive one way or the other.
Then 2 days passed. I decided to take my BBT because I knew it would not lie. It was 97.7. Inconclusive but definitely higher than what it should be if AF were to come. Still I was cautious and I was determined to make my normal acupuncture appointment last night. I just want to make sure if it could be due to the herbal med. Dr. Liu said no and in fact I could finish taking the med. (In our conversation, I can tell he is a Buddhist talking about fate and cause/effect. If this turns out to be a happy news, I am obligated to make the God in my life known to him.)
This morning, right around 7 am, it was time for BBT again. I resisted from taking any test but I had to know whether I should cancel Stanford appt or not. I wondered if God is that poetic? Letting me know on the day I am supposed to see the infertilily doctor? It is truly when our road ends that is when His begins. The BBT came back higher 98.1. So, with that, I dug up some left over test strips and did the test. Twice.
I was not in tears, shocked or overwhelmed seeing the faint line appeared. I think I was just filled with thankfulness. As I was trying to find neat ways to break the news to Charles, I couldn't. So, I just told him he could stop swallowing those black pills and he knew. He was happy and he prayed. The first thought came to my mind was we needed to pay Pastor Cheng a visit because he earnestly prayed for us.
I think I am slowly realizing what a miracle I am experiencing (99% true...). We prayed for this 'cup' would pass - the 'cup' for having to go through more needles and meds. We knew the pain and burden it would have on us. God spared us. Thank you thank you. (Perhaps this year finally is the time for us to settle in a home. God's timing - what can I say?!)
As I was walking Ryan to school, my mind was just flooded with the memory of pains that I struggled through and each time I was asked to simply obey and serve His people while I waited. It was not just to wait for 1 yr, 2 yr, 3 yr, but 4 yrs. I was definitely not a saint throughout these waiting years for I had had my ups and downs. In the end, I could only focus on the blessings - the friendship I was able to make with many chinese moms and those that were deepen because of it; discovering my gift in teaching preschoolers; given this job at the end of my 1 yr service to the moms so unexpectedly; learning again to trust God's goodness and that when I look back (as I am doing now), I know why I had to wait. I know the journey is not yet over; but I am hopeful and I pray for a healthy one to behold.
Thank you God.
Karen
Two days ago, when my AF is supposed to come, only a small brownish thing instead. It is not unusual as a precursor to the full blown thing; but what was out of ordinary was the real thing did not come at all. So, I started to rationalize....checking out the web....then catching myself not to get too far ahead with just that. Cautious joy. Meanwhile, I prayed that my heart would be guarded and that it would be definitive one way or the other.
Then 2 days passed. I decided to take my BBT because I knew it would not lie. It was 97.7. Inconclusive but definitely higher than what it should be if AF were to come. Still I was cautious and I was determined to make my normal acupuncture appointment last night. I just want to make sure if it could be due to the herbal med. Dr. Liu said no and in fact I could finish taking the med. (In our conversation, I can tell he is a Buddhist talking about fate and cause/effect. If this turns out to be a happy news, I am obligated to make the God in my life known to him.)
This morning, right around 7 am, it was time for BBT again. I resisted from taking any test but I had to know whether I should cancel Stanford appt or not. I wondered if God is that poetic? Letting me know on the day I am supposed to see the infertilily doctor? It is truly when our road ends that is when His begins. The BBT came back higher 98.1. So, with that, I dug up some left over test strips and did the test. Twice.
I was not in tears, shocked or overwhelmed seeing the faint line appeared. I think I was just filled with thankfulness. As I was trying to find neat ways to break the news to Charles, I couldn't. So, I just told him he could stop swallowing those black pills and he knew. He was happy and he prayed. The first thought came to my mind was we needed to pay Pastor Cheng a visit because he earnestly prayed for us.
I think I am slowly realizing what a miracle I am experiencing (99% true...). We prayed for this 'cup' would pass - the 'cup' for having to go through more needles and meds. We knew the pain and burden it would have on us. God spared us. Thank you thank you. (Perhaps this year finally is the time for us to settle in a home. God's timing - what can I say?!)
As I was walking Ryan to school, my mind was just flooded with the memory of pains that I struggled through and each time I was asked to simply obey and serve His people while I waited. It was not just to wait for 1 yr, 2 yr, 3 yr, but 4 yrs. I was definitely not a saint throughout these waiting years for I had had my ups and downs. In the end, I could only focus on the blessings - the friendship I was able to make with many chinese moms and those that were deepen because of it; discovering my gift in teaching preschoolers; given this job at the end of my 1 yr service to the moms so unexpectedly; learning again to trust God's goodness and that when I look back (as I am doing now), I know why I had to wait. I know the journey is not yet over; but I am hopeful and I pray for a healthy one to behold.
Thank you God.
Karen
Monday, April 13, 2009
I am either careless or simply dangerous
You know I think I am both. I know I am not a person who pays attention to detail and in many occasions that have gotten me in terrible consequences. My rap sheet is getting longer and I am almost too embarassed to share. I guess it started with leaving stove on with a pot on it and I managed to repeat this feat 3 times. (Thank God this house still stands) I guess the worst one has to be THE incident where I cut a piece of my thumb off. (ouch! I look at it now and try to recall what it was like right after the incident, I am amazed at God's healing power). Then recently, I exploded a non-pyrex glass pot. Thankfully, I was spared of any serious injury; only that there are remnant of the explosion marked on the floor. Then tonight, I cut a little tiny bit of Ryan's ear skin as I was giving him a haircut. ARGH. I think I need to take away knifes/scissors or heat producing objects from myeslf.
I think taking even a step back, perhaps my problem is that I just need to slow down in whatever I do. Poor Ryan got this trait exactly from me. "I want it, I want it now!" and occasionally he would add "That's not fair!" to which I respond "Life is not fair, Ryan."
It is a constant battle to try to teach him delay gratification. We will have to be persistent for his own good in the long run. Meanwhile, let's pray for incident free the rest of 2009!
I think taking even a step back, perhaps my problem is that I just need to slow down in whatever I do. Poor Ryan got this trait exactly from me. "I want it, I want it now!" and occasionally he would add "That's not fair!" to which I respond "Life is not fair, Ryan."
It is a constant battle to try to teach him delay gratification. We will have to be persistent for his own good in the long run. Meanwhile, let's pray for incident free the rest of 2009!
Sunday, April 12, 2009
When that $ is lost
When the statement from Charles' investment came last year, it finally confirmed my fear that the untimely investment went down about 50%. It is an area of our lives that I have had the hardest time to avoid bringing up. Partly because I had warned him beforehand and it turned out that I was right. It is difficult to be right and yet still lost in the end. But anyways, what made me want to write this post was not about my lamenting the loss of money; but more about what spiritual effects it has had on me. I remember thinking back then that how great it would be to give away all those money that we recklessly lost to the world to God's kingdom?! So, even in the midst of feeling less wealth off, I was encouraged to be more generous for the kingdom.
Just when I was trying to exercise that thought, I got a quick reminder.....
I may be about to lose out of claiming a few thousands of pre-tax money that I am rightfully entitled to. The case is still in appeal; but I feel like it's the same lesson all over again. I asked God, who do you want me to bless this time? His school came to mind several times. So, here is my promise to God that if the appeal is to my favor, 10% will go to bless the God fearing teachers at his preschool. Meanwhile, I can only pray for a favorable outcome!
Yes, indeed, money is just a mean to make life easier for ourselves and others. It doesn't serve any good purpose if it is just sitting there electronically! (well, of course some rainy day saving is a good advice :)).
Just when I was trying to exercise that thought, I got a quick reminder.....
I may be about to lose out of claiming a few thousands of pre-tax money that I am rightfully entitled to. The case is still in appeal; but I feel like it's the same lesson all over again. I asked God, who do you want me to bless this time? His school came to mind several times. So, here is my promise to God that if the appeal is to my favor, 10% will go to bless the God fearing teachers at his preschool. Meanwhile, I can only pray for a favorable outcome!
Yes, indeed, money is just a mean to make life easier for ourselves and others. It doesn't serve any good purpose if it is just sitting there electronically! (well, of course some rainy day saving is a good advice :)).
Easter Weekend
As it has been for the past couple years, we spent our Good Friday service with the local Valley church. This year I definitely saw a marked difference in how much Ryan understood the service (well, even though he finally fell asleep toward the end). When it was time for communion, we whispered to him that only if he knew Jesus died for him then he could participate. So, he acknowledged and so he did. It was almost another sign of him growing up. Now he goes to bed besides needing the usual book time, he also demands the mommy praying time with him. I wish I could record a child's prayer. It is the most heartfelt and pure thing. As big as wanting a sibling to as trivial as hoping a school friend to behave properly the next day. He says those prayers just as earnestly. Perhaps my own prayers can just be as simple.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
My First Blog
I have finally given in to blogging. The only thing that did it for me was the fact that I want to have a way to remember things esp. all the ones that Ryan said or did. I'd figure years from now I would even enjoy reading my own journal!
So, how has life been?! Hmm...it's shocking to think that it's almost a year since I started working again. The job literally fell on my lap right before the biggest bubble in history burst; and I am still employed. Often time I wonder about the timing and all. I am not sure. Perhaps it was a way to distract me from thinking about other fruitless things; perhaps it was His provision so we could afford Ryan private schoolling; perhaps this is simply a time for me to be placed in a working world; or perhaps we could learn to be generous with our giving esp. after seeing some of our investment could just be halved in an instant. But whatever the purpose may be, I am just taking one day at a time. Be thankful, be generous yet cautious; be joyful with the extra free time with shut-down!
On the other hand, it is Charles' job that is going through more turbulance. He has to decide what group he wants to join as his team is being integrated with another department. I am surprised to see him stressed as it is quite unusual. I mean you can hardly phase him with anything (well, other than depriving him of good food). Perhaps it's the imminent change that is hard to deal with. Afterall, he has not had to change department for the past 8 years!
For Ryan, I think he enjoys school. He tells me about the pretend games they play and he would be the daddy. He is very bad about finishing up his lunch and his excuse has always been "Cause I talk too much...". One time I had to request for him to be placed by himself during lunch. I am not sure if it helped. So, I tried to pack stuff he most likely would consume. There are sure bets like the dumplings, cheese&egg sandwiches, and chinese sausages. We had to buy these homemade sausage w/o preservative from this Taiwanese bakery. Yesterday, he had a little bit of my korean spicy instant noodle and he LOVED it hahaha.
On thing I want to note down is Ryan's reading progress. He has not made significant progress in reading and I know mostly because of my fault. My lack of patience when I was teaching him when he was little contributed to his lack of interest to read - or should I say confidence. Yeah kinda suck esp. he made good progress even when he was 3. So, finally I learn from this chinese puzzle game we bought in HK. It has a book of puzzle classified in 3 different levels. He started doing level 1 where they were really easy. I could see his confidence and interest built as he checked off each one he finished. Obviously, the same idea could be applied to anything, like reading. Moreover, I have always wanted to start a reward system with him but nothing lasted more than a week. So, this time, I combined the two ideas together. He would start reading simple books (I mean really simple ones). He gets to earn a point every time he finishes a book. Once he accumulates 10 points, he can get a reward. (BTW, any bad behavior will get point taken off). Well, here is the fun for him. We borrow the Wheel of Fortune idea where we use a die to determine his reward. Since there are only 6 faces to a die, we pre-determined what the 6 rewards would be. I'd figure if he is bored with the reward, we will change it as we go along. So far, he has rolled the die twice! The instant result was he would initiate reading on his own when he is at home or at the library - which never happened before! Yes, he would even make you sit down to hear him read so he can record his point. So, thank God for wisdom in parenting! I think I have already believed that providing positive experience is important for a child to learn but the bigger lesson for me is the impact of negative attitude in teaching is that difficult to revert. Now, I have experienced it both ways, I shall remember that lesson and apply to his other areas of learning. (One thing we have kept telling Ryan is perverance. He used to skip over or just got frustrated whenever he sees an unfamiliar word. Now, he is willing to try because his trying is met by positive feedback instead of my harsh words. Sigh...shame on me for losing the precious time!)
BTW, here are a few Ryan's thing I started to jot down:
Dec 2008
Ryan: 'Mommy I know how B and D sound, 'Baaa' 'Duh'' This is after me praising his cousin for being a good reader and he had to claim some glory for knowing how these letters sound in a weird way.
Feb 2009
Mom: 'Do you want to have a different mommy?'
Ryan: 'No'
Mom: 'A different daddy?'
Ryan: 'No, but I want a different cousin.' - ah, that would be Michelle
Mar 2009
Ryan:'You were the one who woke me up.'
Mom: 'How?' this is after he had a high fever...
Ryan: Changed the voice to imitate mine 'Do you want some medicine? Do you want some water?'
Mar 2009
Dad: 'I had to take some pain-killer today.'
Ryan: 'Are you gonna die?'
Apr 2009
After I tugged him in bed, he said:
Ryan:'Mommy, come back and I will tell you a secret.'
Me:'Just tell me now.'
Ryan: whispering...'Thank you dad and you for putting my bike together.' (that happened 2 wks ago.)
So, how has life been?! Hmm...it's shocking to think that it's almost a year since I started working again. The job literally fell on my lap right before the biggest bubble in history burst; and I am still employed. Often time I wonder about the timing and all. I am not sure. Perhaps it was a way to distract me from thinking about other fruitless things; perhaps it was His provision so we could afford Ryan private schoolling; perhaps this is simply a time for me to be placed in a working world; or perhaps we could learn to be generous with our giving esp. after seeing some of our investment could just be halved in an instant. But whatever the purpose may be, I am just taking one day at a time. Be thankful, be generous yet cautious; be joyful with the extra free time with shut-down!
On the other hand, it is Charles' job that is going through more turbulance. He has to decide what group he wants to join as his team is being integrated with another department. I am surprised to see him stressed as it is quite unusual. I mean you can hardly phase him with anything (well, other than depriving him of good food). Perhaps it's the imminent change that is hard to deal with. Afterall, he has not had to change department for the past 8 years!
For Ryan, I think he enjoys school. He tells me about the pretend games they play and he would be the daddy. He is very bad about finishing up his lunch and his excuse has always been "Cause I talk too much...". One time I had to request for him to be placed by himself during lunch. I am not sure if it helped. So, I tried to pack stuff he most likely would consume. There are sure bets like the dumplings, cheese&egg sandwiches, and chinese sausages. We had to buy these homemade sausage w/o preservative from this Taiwanese bakery. Yesterday, he had a little bit of my korean spicy instant noodle and he LOVED it hahaha.
On thing I want to note down is Ryan's reading progress. He has not made significant progress in reading and I know mostly because of my fault. My lack of patience when I was teaching him when he was little contributed to his lack of interest to read - or should I say confidence. Yeah kinda suck esp. he made good progress even when he was 3. So, finally I learn from this chinese puzzle game we bought in HK. It has a book of puzzle classified in 3 different levels. He started doing level 1 where they were really easy. I could see his confidence and interest built as he checked off each one he finished. Obviously, the same idea could be applied to anything, like reading. Moreover, I have always wanted to start a reward system with him but nothing lasted more than a week. So, this time, I combined the two ideas together. He would start reading simple books (I mean really simple ones). He gets to earn a point every time he finishes a book. Once he accumulates 10 points, he can get a reward. (BTW, any bad behavior will get point taken off). Well, here is the fun for him. We borrow the Wheel of Fortune idea where we use a die to determine his reward. Since there are only 6 faces to a die, we pre-determined what the 6 rewards would be. I'd figure if he is bored with the reward, we will change it as we go along. So far, he has rolled the die twice! The instant result was he would initiate reading on his own when he is at home or at the library - which never happened before! Yes, he would even make you sit down to hear him read so he can record his point. So, thank God for wisdom in parenting! I think I have already believed that providing positive experience is important for a child to learn but the bigger lesson for me is the impact of negative attitude in teaching is that difficult to revert. Now, I have experienced it both ways, I shall remember that lesson and apply to his other areas of learning. (One thing we have kept telling Ryan is perverance. He used to skip over or just got frustrated whenever he sees an unfamiliar word. Now, he is willing to try because his trying is met by positive feedback instead of my harsh words. Sigh...shame on me for losing the precious time!)
BTW, here are a few Ryan's thing I started to jot down:
Dec 2008
Ryan: 'Mommy I know how B and D sound, 'Baaa' 'Duh'' This is after me praising his cousin for being a good reader and he had to claim some glory for knowing how these letters sound in a weird way.
Feb 2009
Mom: 'Do you want to have a different mommy?'
Ryan: 'No'
Mom: 'A different daddy?'
Ryan: 'No, but I want a different cousin.' - ah, that would be Michelle
Mar 2009
Ryan:'You were the one who woke me up.'
Mom: 'How?' this is after he had a high fever...
Ryan: Changed the voice to imitate mine 'Do you want some medicine? Do you want some water?'
Mar 2009
Dad: 'I had to take some pain-killer today.'
Ryan: 'Are you gonna die?'
Apr 2009
After I tugged him in bed, he said:
Ryan:'Mommy, come back and I will tell you a secret.'
Me:'Just tell me now.'
Ryan: whispering...'Thank you dad and you for putting my bike together.' (that happened 2 wks ago.)
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